The Sleeping Bag
by fantasticality
Summary: If anyone found out what his sleeping bag hid, Sokka would have to kill them. Except Toph, of course, seeing as she already knew what it hid... Happy early Christmas, Jason!


**Okay, so I really shouldn't be writing any other stories until I update my crossover, but whatever. *shrugs***

**Anyways, this is a crack fic (at least, I hope it is), and I hope you'll like it. **

**Dedication: A _very _early Christmas present to my friend, The First Ghost Boy. :D Hope you like it, dude!**

* * *

"Sokka, I need to clean out your sleeping bag!" Katara called to her brother, reaching for said object. Her long fingers barely touched the fabric before it was snatched out of her reach. Looking up, similar blue eyes clashed with each other, one pair glaring dangerously at the female.

"Don't touch my bag," Sokka whined, hugging the bundle of cloth tightly to his chest.

The waterbender placed her hands on her hips indignantly. "Sokka, that thing stinks! I need to clean it!" She could vaguely hear Toph snicker as the scene progressed, but she paid no heed to the pre-teen.

"No! I can do it myself!"

"Sokka, you can't even clean your socks, let alone your sleeping bag. Just let me do it!" Katara let out a small grunt, lunging for the bag in her brother's arms. Her hands merely groped air.

Hugging the sleeping bag even tighter, the warrior shot back, "No one touches my bag! No one!"

Katara blew a few spare strands of hair out of her face before snapping back, "And why not? Dammit, Sokka! What the hell was so special with about that bag?! Don't make me use my water powers on you!"

"No!" he shrieked, clutching the bag even tighter to him. "I don't want a bath!"

"Then just give me the bag!"

Sokka stuck his tongue at her. "No, because if you found out what was in it, I'd have to kill you."

With his tongue stuck out in a rather childish move, Katara found it hard to believe that her brother, the whiny, sniveling fighter in the group would go to such extent. Letting out a groan of aggravation, she turned away from him, throwing her hands up in the air in annoyance.

Maybe Aang could help her…

* * *

"Sokka, what's in your bag?" Aang asked, walking up to the older boy who was curled up in a ball.

Sokka gave the Avatar a crazed look. "No!" he cried out, hugging the bag to his chest once more. "You can't see it! Back away!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Aang could see Toph pounding her fist onto a log and holding her stomach as though she were in pain. Aang was tempted to go help her out before he realized that she was merely laughing. His stormy gray eyes flitted back to Sokka who still sported 'the asylum escapee' look.

"Come on, Sokka," the pre-teen cooed, reaching his hand out to the older boy. "Give me the sleeping bag."

Sokka crept further away from Aang, scooting over jumpily, as though he were hopping up and down. "No, Aang! Don't take it away!"

Letting out an annoyed sigh, gray eyes briefly glared at the warrior. "Sokka, give me the bag. Now."

"No, please! Don't take it!" Sokka's face miraculously morphed into that of a child's, large, teary eyes wide and staring imploringly at Aang. His bottom lip began quivering. "Please?"

The monk rubbed his temples gently before stating that he wouldn't let Sokka keep it any longer before washing it.

Sokka promptly burst into tears.

Where was Zuko when you needed him?

* * *

Zuko and Sokka's confrontation would fairly short and brief, Zuko decided. Or so he hoped, anyways.

"Sokka, give me the sleeping bag," the fire prince demanded, holding out his hand, waiting for Sokka to let go of the bundle of cloth in his arms and give it up.

The junior of the duo pouted. "Why does everyone want my sleeping bag?" he complained. "They have their own!"

"Because yours smells like shit and needs a wash," Zuko stated matter-of-factly.

"But I like how it smells right now!"

Amber eyes narrowed. "None of us are going to tolerate the smell of shit every single day. You _will _wash it, and you _won't _complain."

Sokka didn't seem to hear anything after the word "shit" for began shouting, "Katara! Zuko said a bad word!"

Katara shot Zuko an empathetic look and mouthed, "I'm sorry," to him before glaring at Toph, who was currently rolling around in laughter. His response was a deadpan look.

He turned back to Sokka. "Give me the fucking bag," Zuko snarled, reaching for it. When Sokka resisted, the firebender felt himself growl in frustration, his lip curling upwards.

"Please don't take it!" Sokka sobbed, clutching the bag even tighter to him. That stubborn ass!

Zuko stalked over to Sokka's sleeping area and grabbed a heavy sack. Stalking back to Sokka, he lit a small flame in his hand and held it below the sack, nearly igniting it. "If you don't give me that bag, I am going to light your meat stash on fire," he threatened, golden eyes smoldering with frustration.

The Water Tribe boy immediately stopped his infernal sniveling and looked up to the elder with wide, teary eyes. "N-no, please don't," he sniffed.

"Then give me the bag."

"But then I'll have to kill you…"

Letting out a disbelieving snort, Zuko snatched the bag out of Sokka's unsuspecting hands and walked away.

In one swift motion, Sokka ran up from behind Zuko, snatched his sleeping bag out of his hands, and sprinted away animatedly, his limbs flailing around like some sort of idiot.

The exiled fire prince felt a bead of perspiration form on his head. _What an idiot…_

Toph needed to get her butt over here.

* * *

Toph fell over, clutching her stomach and laughing. "So let me get this straight, Snoozles," she managed between guffaws, "you acted like an insane psycho idiot just to protect your _diary?_" Toph collapsed into giggles once more.

"It's not funny!" Sokka sniffed. "I had to hide it! Who knows what would've happened if people read it!"

Toph laughed harder.

Pouting, he said, "It was important that it would be kept private!"

The earthbender stopped laughing long enough raise an eyebrow at him. "Was it so important to the extent of threatening to kill them?"

Sokka nodded vigorously.

"What was your answer?" Toph asked.

He nodded once more, just to clarify his response.

She rolled her eyes. "Well, it _feels _like you're nodding. Your big ears create a monsoon," she replied, rough sarcasm evident in her voice.

Oh. Right. He was talking with a blind girl.

"Sorry Toph. I was nod- _Hey; my ears do not create a monsoon!_" Sokka screeched at her. His ears weren't _that _big! Did everyone forget that they lived with Momo?!

Toph merely stuck her left pinky in her ear and began cleaning it out. Turning to Sokka, she asked, "Mind not talking so loud? My ears are sensitive, and I need all of my four senses I can get."

"But people have five- oh."

Taking her pinky out of her ear, Toph began laughing softly. "Still haven't realized that I'm blind?"

"Of course I've realized," Sokka supplied hurriedly. "I just tend to forget!"

Her chortles grew louder. "Damn straight, idiot."

The elder soon joined in on the laughter, both ending up wiping tears out of their eyes. "You know, sometimes you're totally worth the painful love."

Toph punched Sokka's arm. "You are too, I guess." All of a sudden, she ceased moving, blinking owlishly and staring at a spot behind Sokka. Then, a smirk made its way onto her face. "You know, Snoozles, Twinkle Toes, Sparky, and Sugar Queen are _all _reading your diary right now."

"What?!" Sokka screeched his face suddenly void of all traces of amusement that had been there mere seconds ago. Paling, he turned to the direction in which Toph was staring at.

Oh, crap.

A piercing feminine scream of remorse could be heard within a five mile radius of the camp. It was followed by a loud fit of laughter, seeming to come from a young girl.

* * *

**Okay, so I know it's pretty sucky, but I tried. I tried really hard, but it's kinda hard to write a fanfic on a show you haven't watched in over five months. But I hope it's sufficient!**

**Reviews are greatly appreciated!**


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